Healing Emotional Issues

I often wonder how this world keeps on turning. Throughout the world you hear stories of anger, war, retaliation, people never talking to one another because of something that was said, or not said. When upset how long does it take for you to settle down? Does it take minutes? Days? Weeks? Years? The longer it takes the more effort it takes to heal because when it comes to anger, underneath it lays hurt. The ammount of anger we have is equivilent to the underlying hurt. If you've experienced a lot of abuse, neglect, or injustice, you may find yourself not only angry but in a rage! "How dare they do that to me --- again" is what the hurt part inside feels. And believe it or not we are emotional beings. Underneath our anger lays the key to our emotional healing - "the hurt". When we learn how to treat this hurt part, not only does the anger fade, but we heal. Is this a delusional claim? No, far from it. According to Fritz Perls, the innovator of the Gestalt Therapy approach, if we have experiences something traumatic often times it hasn't been processed properly and we have, "unfinished business". Each time a hurt goes unattended, more and more unfinished business stacks up. If this is so, then even a glance by somebody can trigger violence! In healing emotional issues, unfinished business must be completed. This is accomplished with tender loving care. When love is applied to our hurt, we heal. This love isn't from another person, though there are some phenomenal thereapists that are able to do this work. This love needs to come from one self. How do we apply love? How do we complete unfinished business? There are wonderful books on this subject of course, but the direct way is to create a personal relationship with the younger part inside of you that is fixated at the moment in time when trauma struck. How do we create a relationship? I am glad you asked. Some use pillows or pictures to represent the younger part inside of you. Talk to the picture, hug the pillow, and make a commitment to staying connected to the unfinished part of yourself. Ask that part what he or she needs. Please be patient. This type of work takes time. For obtaining good results, you have to establish a good working connection with the younger part inside of you. I have had great results in utilizing an opposite hand writing format. Allow your dominant hand to represent the adult (or older you), and allow your opposite hand to represent the younger part of you that went through the difficulty. Then on a piece of paper communicate. It is especially important for the adult part to communicate with love and compassion and allow the younger part to ask for what it needs. This is a tried and true counseling approach since the 1950's and is still as effective today. If you are having some difficulty seek out a therapist that is familiar with it's use. May you continue to heal and grow, Dr. Scott Alpert

Empty Nest and Depressed

When a child leaves home it can create a void. Suddenly the object of our affection, motivation, and reason for living is gone. This can put the mind in a tizzy. So used to giving, giving, giving, the mind wants its charished possession back, so it obsesses about them.

It is natural to have recurrent thoughts about our children when they leave, simply because we care. Did we do the right thing? Did we screw them up? Are they going to get into trouble? Since you did so, they probably can they handle their life too.

Instead of worrying about them, why not send them love? We are energetic beings. When somebody worries about us we can feel it. When somebody loves us we feel that too. What would you prefer to do?

There is a great meditation you can use to stop this cycle called the "Hug Meditation". Gently close your eyes, give yourself a mental hug (you need to fill yourself up with love first), and next give them, as well as other people in your life, a mental hug too. On some level they will feel it, plus it makes us feel good.

For other tips go to www.

Ever Have One of Those Days?

ninety percent of the time I am on. I mean ON! I connect up with people, get intimate with them in sessions (emotionally - get your head out of the gutter), and generally get tears flowing, them having AH HA moments and such. Well today was a bunch of arm folding, mistrust, and a feeling like the clients felt like I was hasseling them.

Hey, let's face it. THis is real life. Some days it's peanuts, some days it shells. I can't expect everyday to be thunder and lightening flying, God rushing in, and miracle after miracle taking place - as it seems to happen (in my own mind of course). Still, when clients aren't motivated in having simple conversations and are THAT paranoid, I need to back off.

One client was so rigid I excused myself and left them almost in mid sentence. Why push when someone is so resistent? I don't need to work harder than them. So I let the Nurse and the Psychiatrist grab the rest of the information that was needed. I know when I am not welcome. The funny thing, the client in the end thanked me. Can you imagine that?

But hey, therapy is a give and take scenario. Both parties have to involve themselves in order to have some success. Sometimes the rewards are great - almost inspiring! Other times they plop on the floor and need to be swept up. Do you think I want to engage myself in every person who enters my room? Well actually my percentage rate is very high, because I give a damn. I felt frustrated today when I left the interview room because I truly wanted to help this person who was just released from a psychiatric hospital and still seemed a bit (alright a lot) unstable. But again, I know the limits to the counseling arena.

Then came the next client and it was almost a repeat. They too were guarded, didn't want to talk about their past, or talk about their past traumatic experiences. The best interview of the day was with a psychotic Spanish Speaker who grinned a lot and thanked me for the help.

Oh well, it could have been worse. One good thing, days like this helps me appreciate the times that are really special.

It is over eight years here and we, as an organization have serviced over 16,500 people with mental illness. That is amazing! I have literally seen thousands of people and trust me a day like this is very rare for me. If it continues to be the same, perhaps I too need to go through counseling. I don't want my connection with God to get permanently closed.

May you all have great mental wellbeing.

A Calm Day

For the past umpteen days we have been working our tails off and I haven't had a moment to settle down and gather my thoughts. I love writing this blog in particular because of how important the work is that we do here. Crisis stabilization is insane work. We have to nestle up to some people that are literally nuts and try to fix them to the best of our ability. This takes patience, team work, good ethics, and a compassionate heart. I am proud to state that I have these qualities and the years of experience to prove it - and I don't.

Who did I see today? This was an average day. A client that has regular suicidal tendencies, an alcoholic, a person who hears voices to harm themself and has never taken psychiatric meds, who is almost fifty years old and homeless. A person with mulitiple personalities (five) who get's violently paranoid. A spanish speaker who had major depression and psychosis who was off their medication for two months. A young person who wanted to go back into a hospital after just being released because life is too overwhelming. A foreigner who had a scuffle during immigration interviews at the airport. And on and on and on. Each day is another saga, another soap opera, another sitcom.

I have always thought that this job would be perfect for primetime televison. Each day could highlight cases, the crazy staff, and our administration that tries hard and places more responsibility on an already overburdened staff. Sound like good viewing? There is a lot of comedy for sure.

So it is now August and the entire staff can't believe it is coming up on the holidays. I can. Yes it's been a fast year. That is because we are so busy in doing meaningful work. I remember what it was like when I was a kid with nothing to do. My friends might have been away and I was bored and watching the times slowly tick away. Now I blink my eye and it is six o'clock. WOW! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

May you all have great mental health.

Shaken and Stirred

It is interesting how life circumstances grabs hold of you and doesn't release it's ugly grasp. I got some bad news today - well possibly bad news when my tennant gave me thirty days notice he was moving out. Why discuss this in a psychological sense? Because it demonstrates how our personal lives effects us all.

Paying first and last to me, one would think I would be professional and place it into an account for a rainy day. Well living paycheck to paycheck and having a fixer upper in the desert has zapped my funds. So now I wonder how on Earth I will make ends meet at the beginning of the month.

Of course today I had sessions with some very troubled people. One I felt I made an exceptional connection with and really explained how they can self counsel themself. However while waiting for the psychiatric interview the person had melt down after melt down. Rare for me, but it does happen. Then another client who had no stopped cried throughout our interview began getting angry and demanded for the psychiatrist to see them. What a day. Ba Blam bam BAM!!

Luckily I see life through spiritual eyes. Obviously I need to address my financial issues with more diligence. My recent raise is helpful, but being a family man now I have some hard facts to face. Private practice? Dive head first into a gaming opportunity with promising financial rewards - plus at the same time work with my life long best friend? Persue a book deal, or market my two books on my own? The later is confusing because I haven't a clue about marketing. One thing for sure, if I am unable to solve this financial crunch, my therapy skills may lack. In this setting it wouldn't bode very well.

So I have some thinnin to do, as Rickey Ricardo would say. One thing for sure, I have unsurpassed skills, a great heart, and perserverance. Just one look at all the construction jobs I have been doing lately shows I can tough things out and create incredible beauty at the same time.

Thanks for your prayers and kindness.

May you have enhanced wellbeing.

Changing My Approach

After having thousands of client sessions it has occurred to me lately that I have turned into a kind of repetitive robot. Of course I listen well, go with what clients tell me, and have great compassion. Well at least I delude myself into thinking about myself that way. What has changed is how not I am - predictable.

I had four client sessions today and each one went very differently. One was strictly on having the client avoid their past thinking and focus on creating a relationship with self - a compassionate relationship with self in the here and now - ongoing. Another session was focused on how a client can literally treat themselves like they treat others - which was contrary to how they have lived their entire life. The next was focused on reasons why a person shouldn't jump out of their moving car - a thought that had haunted them for fifteen years. The last was convincing a person to obtain free medication at their designated mental health organization instead of purchasing it black market on the street. One intriguing day that seemed to literally fly by!

Today was an easy day. I avoided the writing down the regression process and focusing on the needs of the core wounds that have been neglected for years. Yes I included this in our discussions like I always do because it is an eyeopening experience. Still their were more burning issues that needed to be handled instead. It is as if I am moving away from my familiar mode and really honing into what presents itself - though I still have more room for improvement - thank God.

I loved it when a former client of a week ago showed up to support a friend and was all excited to see me. It seems that this person is in a drug treatment program and she got to share about the Spiritual Psychology approach I taught her. Well not only has it affected her, a number of clients got really inspired! It is as if the ripple from the pebble I tossed at her is affecting others and so on - at least that is my prayer.

Life is short. I see it, vicariously live it through the people I counsel, and let's face it we all know friends and family members who are struggling or are deceased. Hey I am 52 years old going on 90 and going on 15, my hope has always been leave this world in a better place when I ultimatley leave. Lord knows I try in my interactions in mental health, in the home improvement projects I do with friends, family, and in my relationship, and with my books on self healing and spirituality. Our bodies are merely rented. It is short term - believe me. I can't believe I am in my fifties! I used to play baseball it feels only a few months ago. The last upper division softball game I played in was fourteen years ago! My oh my has time flied!!!

So I listen to others, make some suggestions, give love, and try to learn from my mistakes. An interesting life, but it is the only one I've got so I make the best of it.

May you all have enhanced wellbeing.

So Much To Say

I don't know what took place this past week, but I have seen everything!!!! The psychotic, majorly depressed, highly anxious, the paranoid, and people so manic they couldn't keep their body still. I try to view people in crisis in a neutral way, trying to avoid my judgments, but often wonder how I would cope if I too was in their state.

The human mind is fragile. Given the proper circumstances anybody can become volitile to the point of homicide, can become psychotic, depressed and anxious. We all to some point get bipolar. I have had restless nights where I could barely sleep and was wrecked the following day. If the worries of the world hit me so hard for a lengthy period of time I could easily be seeking out the services I provide from others.

It is sobering to work with clients battling addictions when I too have my own. I get addicted to hard work, worrying about finances, and about how to improve my relationship. I also have a thing for junk food, and even though I have stopped my substance abuse many years ago, I often wonder how easy it would be to tune out and turn on to my old favorites.

It is nice having a human moment, removing me from my pedistal like so many clinicians do, and become really honest about my life in comparison to the clients I help. We really aren't that different. Yes I have a doctorale education, but I still am a flawed human being trying to live life to the best of my ability. THere is always room for improvements - that's for sure.

Enjoy one another and have a wonderful weekend.