So Much To Say

I don't know what took place this past week, but I have seen everything!!!! The psychotic, majorly depressed, highly anxious, the paranoid, and people so manic they couldn't keep their body still. I try to view people in crisis in a neutral way, trying to avoid my judgments, but often wonder how I would cope if I too was in their state.

The human mind is fragile. Given the proper circumstances anybody can become volitile to the point of homicide, can become psychotic, depressed and anxious. We all to some point get bipolar. I have had restless nights where I could barely sleep and was wrecked the following day. If the worries of the world hit me so hard for a lengthy period of time I could easily be seeking out the services I provide from others.

It is sobering to work with clients battling addictions when I too have my own. I get addicted to hard work, worrying about finances, and about how to improve my relationship. I also have a thing for junk food, and even though I have stopped my substance abuse many years ago, I often wonder how easy it would be to tune out and turn on to my old favorites.

It is nice having a human moment, removing me from my pedistal like so many clinicians do, and become really honest about my life in comparison to the clients I help. We really aren't that different. Yes I have a doctorale education, but I still am a flawed human being trying to live life to the best of my ability. THere is always room for improvements - that's for sure.

Enjoy one another and have a wonderful weekend.

Family Therapy

When it comes to crisis management, a key component is simultaneously treating the family. Our families are intimately wired into our psyche, whether we interact with them daily, weekly, yearly, or haven't for years. Why does our family get under our skin so easily? It baffles the mind. But, like a dagger to the heart, the interactions with family can create madness.

Often in the crisis setting, family members will be abusive. You would think folks would control themselves in the presence of others, but often this just isn't so. I have witnessed families beat on one another, today saw a parent berate their grown child, I have had to remove friends and family members from the room for causing a scene - and they weren't seeking treatment!

You would think that our facily brings out a person's basic nature. I myself love the appreciative folks who understand what we do at the crisis room on a daily basis, however this is far and in between.

What people don't consider is people with mental illnes don't function on the same level as people that are "normal". In fact many parents don't realize their child at 15 years old is not as logical, not as well versed in worldly matters as they are and function at a much lower level. Today the mere fact that the person's child couldn't live life "to their rules", they got mad, loud and had to be spoken to by yours truly. Where is it in my job description to interact with people who weren't even my client? It is essential however to keep the Crisis room as free of crisis as possible!

The mind is an interesting beast. If it doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that something is wrong - ignorance is bliss - it will delude us into feeling that everything is just fine. I had a funny experience with this myself one day as I walked down the street with a friend and walked right into a parking meter. Everything was fine with my walk and my conversation with my friend, but when something I didn't want to acknowledge stopped me in my tracks, I was forced to deal with it.

May you all experience enhanced wellbeing.

Taken for Granted

We all to some extent felt taken for granted. True? Well if you are a human being this feeling is common. Well today was a banner day of my feeling used and abused.

Why do certain people feel obligated to milking out every one of their desires and still make you feel that your 100% effort wasn't good enough. Case in point: A person was brought in by the police who was feeling suicidal and had lost all hope. They were kicked out, taken advantage of, "everybody is against me", you know the speach, and all they wanted to do was die. With that being the backdrop, I did everything I could to show this person kindness. I got them a hotel to sleep in, got them free medications, set them up with a facility that helps provide housing and jobs, but because I couldn't care for their migraine headache, it was as if I became an axe murderer!

I could have placed the person on a 5150 hold because they had a plan and felt hopeless. However knowing the facility they would be sent to and the fifteen minutes they would look at my paperwork and laugh at it I tried to work with the person. Now as I figuratively pull the knife out of my back I wonder if I handled this the right way. Oh no, they weren't going to kill themselves. This person has children they adore. I understand they had a confrontation, the police got involved and this has had to be the lowest point of their life. I don't understand why the person picking up the pieces (me) had to put up with all their Bu.. sh..

This wasn't the only person who was unruly. Another person was so fixated on securing Klonipin that when our psychiatrist didn't prescribe it, they asked the address of another clinic they could go to to obtain it. I refused to answer. "The doctor is recommending this other medication for you. Besides if you are to admit into substance treatment the facility won't allow to admit using this." I replied.

The clients have from day one tried to prescribe their medication. Of course many of them know best, however the drug seekers, who refuse to look at their personal issues and opt to hide their pain through drug use and psychotropic medication are the biggest self prescribers of all. I just want to know why these folks find their way to my interview room on a daily basis?

Then the clincher of the day was being called into the main administrators office. Not my boss, but my boss's boss. Confusing? I had turned somebody away from our facility because we were booked solid and we had no more time slots available. The person left causing a scene, as they normally do, and the administrator watched an angry idiot being idiotic as they left the facility. Was the person suicidal? Were they a threat to others? Not really. This big baby showing is again typical of people with a severe mental illness who don't know how to get their needs properly handled. They refused a referral to another urgent care, and didn't want to even think about showing up to our facility the next morning to get the free medication the county provides through us.

Now the secret is no longer. We are busy pretty much every day. If we were open on the weekends like we used to, our doors would be filled at that time too. The pinch of county mental health services is being felt at this very moment and people are scrambling to our facility to fulfill their needs. Most folks are patient, appreciative, and easy to work with, however we will get the abusers of the system who have nothing and try to squeeze every dime out of their free care. "When is my food arriving!"

May you all have enhanced wellbeing.

An Unexpected Day Off

My busy work week came to an abrupt end today in having to stay at home and supervise kitchen cabinets being installed for the second time. They were much too shallow and needed to be redone. Isn't it easier to follow the plans mapped out? Now the cabinet company has to lose the profit of making new cabinets, paying for an installers' time, and disrupting the customer's lives. It's too bad. The company does A1 work. I for one am not going to suggest them to others because of the screw up, the not showing up when promised and the missed days of work I had to go through. So I miss out on providing proper help to people in crisis - something I live for.

It is nice to have a passion, and the confidence in doing something you love. Not many people can honestly say they love the job they do. In fact, most would say they are working to just pay the bills. With my new raise, maybe I can pay my bills too?

To augment my income I have to be crafty. Do a home improvement project here and there, write some books and try to market it myself. Have individual sessions, though my private practice has tanked due to all the manuel labor I have engaged in lately. My latest project is developing a psychological game for Facebook.com - which should be a real hoot.

Boring life? I don't think so. I am so busy I barely have the time to talk to my own mother. Obviously balance is not in my personal make up as of yet - but I am hopeful.

So with the sound of drilling in the background and a sense of muted satisfaction, my babysitting day has just begun. I am the house mother today. Caring for ailing pets, doing the laundry and I have a monumental task of filling these awaited cabinets with stuff. Now I don't mean just stuff - I mean STUFF. I am in a relationship with somebody who has plenty of EVERYTHING. If there is a specialized kitchen tool - she has it - plus it's back up in case something happens to it. It's a wonder we have room to walk around this place - and that's when everything is shelved!

I think guys are different. Give us a microwave over, a toaster, a George Foreman grill, and condements, and we are set for life. Paper plates and paper towels will suffice. I think at my condo I had one vase. Who needed flowers? Shoot a remote control in one hand and a hamberger in the other made for the best evening. I don't even think the station ever changed from ESPN anyway. Oh maybe for Survivor Man or Man Versus Wild.

So I am Mr. Mom today. Bored out of my goard as I await the cleaning and organizational project that rapidly approaches me. Yeah right - day off. Shoot I'll be working more hours but at least I don't have to do the damn paper work.

I appologize to my replacement for the day. She is about to go through Friday hell while I am stuffing another load of laudry into the machine.

May you all have enhanced wellbeing.

Big Baby

We get them every once in a while. The big baby. These individuals use and abuse us, fail to follow discharge plans and return unannounced demanding service. The fact is, we offer limited services. Period.

When the county set us up eight years ago, we were contracted to see a person, get them referred to a full service provider, and limit our interactions with somebody to once, twice, or at most three times. That is it. We are viewed as a crisis center and charge the county accordingly. For a department of mental health facility, they charge the county much less. We are here for a reason. Get people in a real crisis not only emergency care, but to head these people in the proper direction for continued care. Some of our clients do not want to hear this one bit.

We had a person who continually abuses us show up again today who wouldn't take no for an answer. They had every excuse in the world why they didn't follow up on our discharge plan and didn't request to be seen again, but demanded it. So one by one, each member of our crisis staff had to talk to the person and decline them in our own special way. This was the first time I ever saw our Psychiatrist get into the mix! Do you think this helped? Of course not. The temporary supervisor had to be called in.

"Mommy, mommy, I want!" Was repeated by this grown child over and over again. This person had learned an irritating way to try and get their needs met. "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?" Sorry, but no referral no service.

One would think this isn't very therapuetic, but trust me, this is the best medicine. We can not provide the hands on care individuals like this really need. In missing out on medication for a day or two and getting into the proper care facility can set people up lifelong. We are a temporary band aid on the boo boo compared to them.

So quit your complaining, and your crying, and talking to every single person in earshot. We all see your game and know what you are doing. You are trying to manipulate a system set up by the county, and the county is not going to bend it's rules to provide inadequate long term care to appease you.

Before and After Picture

One thing is for certain. People, after visiting the Crisis Center literally change. Years ago I proposed to invest in a Poloroid Camera and take a before and after picture to show folks of the physical changes created after addressing a core issue and releasing it. Many say that the crisis center is not designed for counseling - but medication management. That might be true, but when people start discussing their deep wounds it is necessary to work upon them in order for enhanced mental health to take place. Taking the proper honoring focus and care miracles tend to take place on a daily basis.

I love walking somebody back into our unit that is afraid, and looks like they have lost all hope - because I already internally know their after picture. It is beautiful when even big dudes who have gang banged for years, touch upon a core wound and start sobbing like a baby. And thank God they do. If they never released this pent up crap it could be the ignition wire to violence or suicide.

At first the showing of this kind of emotion used to strike me funny. I fought hard against laughing in people's faces - to be brutally honest. What was really going on was my discomfort internally and laughter made it humorous and less humane. It took some doing, and a lot of counseling to honor people while they released this pent up garbage. Now I view it as if it is a cough or sneeze. This is the thorn in the Lion's paw and I am with as much sensitivity as I can show, simply removing it with love.

Nobody, well only a spattering of clients throughout the years has seen therapy that works so quick and so effective - if I do say so myself. This is not an arrogant statement whatsoever. This I report with all humility. Trust me, I don't do the work anyway - believing that I am insignificant, but given the right compassion God works right through me. Trust me, half the words I say just fly out on their own accord. I couldn't script this shit. I studied Spiritual Psychology for this very reason: "Get out of the way and let The Father do the work."

I like what I do - except for the redundant paperwork that drives me that the staff nuts. But hey, now paperwork, no paycheck is how I see it.

May you all have enhanced mental health

Date Rape Drug

Every so often a person comes into our facility perfectly fine one day and the next something is drastically wrong. One's family suspects their child was slipped a "Mickey" during a party and suddenly they are in a scramble to gain their child's sanity again.

We seen this, not often, but people do tell stories of going to a party and never being the same. Suddenly they just aren't right. Their are strange feelings in their intestines, they feel people are watching them and plotting against them, strange talking is suddenly heard in their head. Did someone in the FBI implant something on them?

Let's be honest, their is a contingent of shady individuals who like what they see, feel unable to court this person properly, and want to use a "wonder drug" to achieve their prey. In doing so, the consequence to this selfish behavior can lead to somebody having severe mental health issues for the rest of their lives.

Unfortunately the people who victimize these people would never read a blog of this nature. Would they be educated? Have a conscious? I doubt it.

It is people like me who try to assemble the pieces, work with the families, and try to help them grieve. This is a loss on many fronts and individuals close to the person go through the traditional grieving process: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance.

We may never regain the whole person - depending on the amount of the drug given to them. Sometimes all we work for is stability. However with the current effectiveness of psychiatric medicine, and a few new ones about to hit the market, there is more hope for a functional future.

I often believe that being good looking would open doors. I have seen beautiful women driving incredible cars, and wearing clothing that surpasses the attire of Hollywood starletts. In this case being good looking makes beautiful, unreachable types targets. Be on guard. Especially in social settings. Don't take your eyes off your glass if you choose to drink. Know the people you are around - if you are able to do so. Your sanity may depend on it.

May you all have enhanced well being.

Pleasently Pleased

From time to time we have special trainings at the crisis center. It is a way for the staff to learn new techniques, for administration to impose new regulations or approaches - as was the case yesterday - and for the staff to get a break from the hectic pace of their units and interact in a relaxed state with one another.

RCCS I believe was the approach taught, is the focus of listening to a client and being aware of their power being taken from them. It is easy to forget how difficult it is when somebody takes away items you enter a facility with. At first we ask, "Do you have any sharp objects, weapons, or lighters on you?" If so, they are taken away and given back upon discharge. I would be taken back a bit if items were taken from me, "My Items", and would wonder what in the hell I was setting myself up for.

It is an interesting experience to be locked into a facility for a few hours since the front doors are closed and patrons need to be let in and out due to the overall facility being a psychiatric ward. There are people who have lived at this site for years. I would wonder, especially if I had a severe mental illness, if I too would get admitted there.

Now in a controlled environment, we monitor what is seen on the television, we close the office doors to talk about the clients in private - further separating the staff from client, and we force them to use a wall unit to light cigerettes on in the back patio. In moments these people are thrust into an institutionalized setting.

Being aware of this is the first step, making people comfortable, talking with them in a friendly manner and listening to their needs and desires was the thrust of the training. So often social workers fail in this very important area. How often do we thrust our will onto somebody and treat them like we have hundreds, even thousands of others, and turn this facility into an assembly line? Our company wants to honor each client and look at them as unique individuals first off, and wants to give each indivual the opportunity for that special "Ah ha moment" in which they get clarity into improving their life path and a desire to achieve real goals for themselves. What percentage of the folks we see are able to achieve this? You would be surprised with the advance in medication, and the power of a simple human to human connection.

So with renewed hope, and a nice one day break, I face this day with an open mind and heart, knowing full well that some psychotic individual, on the edge of having a break down will cross my path. Just another day in paradise for me.

May you all have great mental health.

It's About Time

After five years I am getting a raise. Son of a gun. My salary at the job had topped out and at first my supervisor tried giving me bad reviews as an excuse for not obtaining a raise. When I pushed her she admitted there wasn't the budget for it. Five years! It's about time!

What am I going to do with the little bonus that probably get exed out due to taxes. I can eat, purchase vitamins soarly needed, I could buy gas to get to and from work. Wow the options are endless. Four percent. Maybe I'll retire in a year.

I think I have it bad and then I talk to my friends. It seems like everybody is hurting. One hasn't worked for months, another could only find extra work in the movies which kinda pays his bills. My sister found a great job which shows that there are good jobs available - all it takes is luck and who you know before you get a break I guess.

At work I interview folks weekly who have lost jobs, leading to losing their homes, causing families to split up and suddenly have found themselves living with mom and dad again. It is difficult when you reach forty years of age, live with the parents and feel like a failure. Imagine if you had a severe mental illness in addition. Not a pretty picture.

As I grew up my parents always told me I wore rose colored glasses. I tended to see everything in a positive light. When the hard reality slaps you in the face on a daily basis that people aren't working, sleep out of their car, haven't eaten for three days, and smell like filth the rosey tint definitely fades.

Does this mean that I am not positive, that I've lost all faith or hope. No far from it. I'm a healer. Period. I have seen incredible healing, transformation, and shock in people on the brink of life itself flowering into incredible people!

I will leave with a heart warming true story - in which I will switch a few facts to protect confidentiality.

A number of years ago I worked at one of the swanky Malibu inpatient residential treatment centers and worked with the ultra wealthy. These people were the movers and shakers who had lost their way - so to speak. One client I had the honor to work with had a partner who made a mint in a consumer product in high demand. This person had over twenty suicide attempts and had been at the facility for months before they were handed over to my care. It took us a month and we located the core issue, worked on the issue fully and tremendous healing took place. It was as if the light bulb shot on and there was no shuting it off.

When it was discharge time my boss couldn't believe the quick turn around and advised the person to spend more time there. He was collecting over $20,000 a month and it was clear what his motivation was. Now wavering the client asked me how I felt. I was confident and suggested this person go to my university to keep learning more and more about the Spiritual Psychology approach I taught them.

I heard from the person a few times and then about three years later received an invitation in the mail. The person not only graduated with a masters degree in Spiritual Psychology, but also their partner had also gone through the course and received a masters as well. Yes, transformations really do take place!