Healing Emotional Issues

I often wonder how this world keeps on turning. Throughout the world you hear stories of anger, war, retaliation, people never talking to one another because of something that was said, or not said. When upset how long does it take for you to settle down? Does it take minutes? Days? Weeks? Years? The longer it takes the more effort it takes to heal because when it comes to anger, underneath it lays hurt. The ammount of anger we have is equivilent to the underlying hurt. If you've experienced a lot of abuse, neglect, or injustice, you may find yourself not only angry but in a rage! "How dare they do that to me --- again" is what the hurt part inside feels. And believe it or not we are emotional beings. Underneath our anger lays the key to our emotional healing - "the hurt". When we learn how to treat this hurt part, not only does the anger fade, but we heal. Is this a delusional claim? No, far from it. According to Fritz Perls, the innovator of the Gestalt Therapy approach, if we have experiences something traumatic often times it hasn't been processed properly and we have, "unfinished business". Each time a hurt goes unattended, more and more unfinished business stacks up. If this is so, then even a glance by somebody can trigger violence! In healing emotional issues, unfinished business must be completed. This is accomplished with tender loving care. When love is applied to our hurt, we heal. This love isn't from another person, though there are some phenomenal thereapists that are able to do this work. This love needs to come from one self. How do we apply love? How do we complete unfinished business? There are wonderful books on this subject of course, but the direct way is to create a personal relationship with the younger part inside of you that is fixated at the moment in time when trauma struck. How do we create a relationship? I am glad you asked. Some use pillows or pictures to represent the younger part inside of you. Talk to the picture, hug the pillow, and make a commitment to staying connected to the unfinished part of yourself. Ask that part what he or she needs. Please be patient. This type of work takes time. For obtaining good results, you have to establish a good working connection with the younger part inside of you. I have had great results in utilizing an opposite hand writing format. Allow your dominant hand to represent the adult (or older you), and allow your opposite hand to represent the younger part of you that went through the difficulty. Then on a piece of paper communicate. It is especially important for the adult part to communicate with love and compassion and allow the younger part to ask for what it needs. This is a tried and true counseling approach since the 1950's and is still as effective today. If you are having some difficulty seek out a therapist that is familiar with it's use. May you continue to heal and grow, Dr. Scott Alpert