Therapuetic Bond

Without a connection with the client, no improvement will occur. Why? Because with a bonded relationship, miracles take place. There are a litany of articles and books written on the subject. It is important to know that even in everyday life if care isn't provided relationships of all types end.

In a crisis situation it is of the utmost importance for a clinician to open their heart to the person in distress. I've talked at length with my mother about this subject. We both feel that something inside of us naturally opens wide - a compassion - when somebody is in despair.

Today a young man entered the crisis center, obviously not wanting to be there. A long term drug abuser, who was angry with the world. I fought hard throughout the interview to find compassion for him but it wasn't coming. He had every right to feel angry. His family discarded him, he had lived on the streets well before age 18 and had a bad experience with counseling, rehab, and medication. I wanted to feel for him but my guard went up with his anger. My life long issue has been with anger, seeing far too much of it in my youth. Realizing underneath all the anger he displayed was a hurting individual.

I began to talk to the hurt part inside of him starting when he was a young child. At the time his father left and his mother remarried an abusive man. Like magic the session shifted. I found compassion for the sad and crying little boy who suddenly appeared in the seat in front of me. The lines on his face smoothed, he began to let go of compressed hurt that was underneath the hard layers he presented to the public.

After his Psychiatric interview he shook my hand, looked younger and happier. He told me he would never forget what we had talked about and my kindness.

Whatever it takes. Clinicians need to somehow find compassion within themselves for their clients. In doing so magic takes place.